PAGES

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Rape fallout -- fear, suspicion, loss of innocence

These are really bad times.

Most people say incidents of rape haven't gone up. We are only seeing increased reporting of such crimes. Earlier, girls and women suffered in silence. Today they speak up. They go to police stations, file cases, and battle in courts to get the criminals punished.

To say that only the reporting of rape incidents has gone up, is to skirt the real issue. It's no consolation, it's just the opposite. It's like all the dirt, which was lying covered, getting exposed now.

How many of us really understand the enormity of what is striking us every day?

One, the much-spoken-about feeling of insecurity. Women don't feel safe any more, in any place. If every woman hasn't already begun seeing every man a potential molester, it's only because she still has hope in humanity, she still has faith in man. In the midst of all these, we still see couples lost in the warmth of togetherness. Nevertheless, fear, very much in the background, is only growing, and not diminishing.

Two, the loss of innocence of the child. The years till teenage are blissful; or they are supposed to be. Children don't know anything wrong. Everything is right for them. There is only love and happiness in their lives. Even when the toy car rams against the wall, she squeaks in delight. Because she can only see it as good fun.

That innocence, is in great danger of being lost, if not lost already. Children as small as four and five are being told by their parents about "what is good touch and bad touch". Many mothers -- who are forced into going down this lane -- frustratingly concede that they only end up confusing the kids rather than making them feel safer. One mom says her kid asked a counter-question, why she was saying all that.

It's very natural for anyone to smile when they see a child. Today, parents are telling their children to be careful if they see anyone smiling at them. Children are being told not to trust anyone, to tell parents if any stranger has spoken to them or held their arms. They are being told not to be friendly with the uncle down the lane, and not to play with him always, whenever they return from school early. Kids are being told that if ever they need any help, to call only the parents and not anyone else.

Three, parents are getting more and more paranoid. It's very normal for parents to get worried when their kids fall ill, or show unusual symptoms, like lack of sleep, or lack of appetite, or pain in the stomach. Those are, as any parent would know, usual problems every growing child faces. Nothing of any great consequence. But today, parents have begun factoring in the possibility of someone having violated their kids' privacy. Lucky if "possibility" doesn't turn into "probability".

Children after seeing "R or Rose and not Rape" on placards in TV news, ask their parents, what is rape. They enlighten their parents, that it was not R for Rape anyway, and that they have always learnt in school that it's R for Rose only.

I  don't know if anyone of us really understands how our society and a whole new generation is getting spoiled. What sort of society are we living in? With what frame of reference these children grow up? Where are we all heading for?

How do we end this terribly bad run? When will it end?

Any answers?